confession: falling from the thinking train

hola lovlies! so i want to be honest for just a moment because i think there is power in confession and with confession comes accountability, and i think i need that. remember last week i told you about my positive thinking project? well during sunday morning church service i was convicted about some personal things from Pastor Mark. i was distracted the rest of the day, but that night i talked to Jordan about it and completely fell apart. i don't really know where all my positive powers had gone but this week has been a total contrast. 

i went to work monday morning which made me get up early so that was something. but when i got home i had absolutely no motivation to do anything whatsoever. i think it was because i didn't pray against the negative thoughts that came up as a result of the sermon.

and then tuesday morning jordan went to work and right as the door clicked shut i had this overwhelming sense of dread and thought, "what the heck and i going to do with the rest of my day?" because i had NO idea. so last night Jordan and i talked about it (he knew this whole week how i was feeling and was wanting me to get back on the positive thinking train.) we had a sweet talk. and told me some hard things, but i needed to hear them. 

today is wednesday and i went to work. i have formed this routine of listening to Pastor Mark through Podcast while i work because (1) the music at Macy's is obnoxious and on some sort of repeat cycle and (2) the kind of work i do is so repetitive that i don't have to focus that much. so i focus on the sound on Pastor Mark's voice, (which is kinda funny because i started listening to him while at college before i actually saw what he looked like). and today he convicted me again though the Word. it is such a blessing to hear the Bible preached in such a deep and knowledgeable way that even i can understanding.

so all that to say i am still on the journey of changing my thought pattern towards things that are pure, true, and worthy. with God's help i think i will be just fine.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4: 8-9

the time i made three trips to the grocery store in one night

yesterday my husband had to get a tooth pulled (my poor dear!) and because he has a pre existing condition (Chron's disease) his appetite dwarfs mine. for him being three and a half years older than me and us both being in our 20's i can pretty much out eat him on any occasion, anywhere. (and i am your average, healthy girl!) combine that with taking high doses of pain meds on an empty stomach and you got a miserable evening with a throbbing mouth. 

so i took care of him as any good wife would and went to the store for the essentials: yogurt, bananas, orange juice, cranberry juice, and Jell-O. because i didn't think to call to see if i was forgetting something i ended up making three trips to the grocery store. once Jordan had all his gear in place he was able to play hours of video games, because he said it kept his mind off the pain. even though last night was pretty restless i enjoyed taking care of the man i love.

today he was able to keep all his food inside his tummy so that he could take his meds. he is so precious and thanked me for taking care of him which made me think how thankful i was that we could both help each other in ways we needed it the most.

the positive thinking project

last Sunday as Jordan and I were getting reading for bed he said, "there is something i want to challenge you with this week. will you do it?" not knowing what the challenge was but trusting my husband i agreed. my challenge was to only think positive thoughts for 7 days. while i think we all need to consider what we ponder,  Jordan's challenge was concerning thoughts about myself. 

Jordan lovingly reminds me each day how much i contribute to this family and without my support and responsibilities he would not know what to do with himself. i accept these adoring words when everything is going as planned, but sometimes i forget them when times are tough. Jordan's hope was that at the end of the 7 days i would see myself and my qualities as he sees them and not be so quick to assume the negative side of everything is a result of my inadequacies. 

that was last week. as a result, i was so productive and accomplished so much on my to-do list. i was thrilled. instead of making excuses for unchecked tasks i reminded myself i am a capable, hard working, intelligent adult. instead of feeling like an idiot for forgetting my ID at the Social Security Office i just smiled and thought i will remember next time. instead of thinking the IRS is out to get me (which they are), and only sends endless mail (only if you ignore them), i told myself i was able to handle important people who use large words and that i would figure it out. with so many important tasks crossed off my list i felt liberated.by being intentional about thought modification my days were filled with lots of check boxes and a sense of accomplishment. 

Jordan told me he wasn't planning on ending the challenge after 7 days. in fact today he asked me, ready for week two of thinking positively? while there were times that i didn't chose the positive thought i did find myself less  anxious, not so quick to assume it was my fault, and overall content with myself.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

i am now on bloglovin for your blogging and following convenience. just click the icon and follow!

thanks for reading!

sunday

this Sunday we made a trip up to Sheridan, Indiana to visit Jordan's parents. this quite farmhouse is were my husband grew up. it's surrounded by alternating fields of soybean and corn and around 75 years old. it's absolutely adorable and i loving making visits to the country.

we watched the football game and ate pizza and i sampled my mother-in-law's homemade pickles. sitting outside on the porch listening to the rustle of the wind through the fields, smelling the cool fall breeze, and feeling the warm sun breaking through the clouds was striking. creation is astounding.

it was so peaceful and restful and exactly what a Sunday should be.

also, their cat had kittens and i immediately fell in love with them! they are about 6 weeks old and i would have taken one home if i didn't already have a territorial, loner old man cat.

on a side note, i apologize that there are no pictures. i don't really have a good camera to record everything, but i am working on getting one soon!

this week at home

this past week i have been not feeling well. contribute it to my early morning schedule and my late bedtime.

 this sore throat is just the beginning stages of a cold, and i hope to kick it out of my system soon. my prescription has been chicken noodle soup, Ben & Jerry's, and lots of napping (that is when i get home from work at 10am.) 

thanks to my wonderful husband for supplying my sickie needs. looks like i am going to be early tonight.

what we did on Labor Day

typically Sunday is our day to unwind, but it's always nice when a national holiday is issued to cease from working.

i must say it is glorious to lounge in pajama's all day and catch up on your favorite TV shows. we really are good at this relaxing thing, maybe a little too good.

you can't have rainbows without rain

i am so proud of my husband. after unexpectantly losing his job last wednesday things were a little uncertain.

but we trust in God to provide. and He always does. jordan is now working for his dad's business while he searches for a full time position. so while it means i don't see he as much during the day, i know he is working hard to provide for his wife.

and i love him so much for that.

life's little indulgences

aside from recovering from my injury, i like to indulge when i can.

i received my much loved Vogue September Issue in the mail this past week. i always take my time reading all the pages, in this case, all 758 of them!

the eye shadow was a treat to myself because i had a coupon and i deserved it! it's L'Oreal Forest Light. i liked it because of the gold and green shimmer shades.

i also love purple tones when it comes to nail polish, so i picked up this affordable bottle at the drugstore for $1.99. i was thrilled.