confession: falling from the thinking train

hola lovlies! so i want to be honest for just a moment because i think there is power in confession and with confession comes accountability, and i think i need that. remember last week i told you about my positive thinking project? well during sunday morning church service i was convicted about some personal things from Pastor Mark. i was distracted the rest of the day, but that night i talked to Jordan about it and completely fell apart. i don't really know where all my positive powers had gone but this week has been a total contrast. 

i went to work monday morning which made me get up early so that was something. but when i got home i had absolutely no motivation to do anything whatsoever. i think it was because i didn't pray against the negative thoughts that came up as a result of the sermon.

and then tuesday morning jordan went to work and right as the door clicked shut i had this overwhelming sense of dread and thought, "what the heck and i going to do with the rest of my day?" because i had NO idea. so last night Jordan and i talked about it (he knew this whole week how i was feeling and was wanting me to get back on the positive thinking train.) we had a sweet talk. and told me some hard things, but i needed to hear them. 

today is wednesday and i went to work. i have formed this routine of listening to Pastor Mark through Podcast while i work because (1) the music at Macy's is obnoxious and on some sort of repeat cycle and (2) the kind of work i do is so repetitive that i don't have to focus that much. so i focus on the sound on Pastor Mark's voice, (which is kinda funny because i started listening to him while at college before i actually saw what he looked like). and today he convicted me again though the Word. it is such a blessing to hear the Bible preached in such a deep and knowledgeable way that even i can understanding.

so all that to say i am still on the journey of changing my thought pattern towards things that are pure, true, and worthy. with God's help i think i will be just fine.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4: 8-9